A Skill

www.coachingbytext.com“Can’t you control your child?” I often heard when my tired and cranky toddler daughter would misbehave in public. My answer was always: “No. No, I can’t.”

With these exchanges, I came to realize that the general understanding seems to be that control is a power or force one exerts externally to gain a particular result.

My own experience and understanding is that it is a skill honed by practice. My most productive expression of control is self-control. Which is, really, the only type of control I may exercise successfully since I have no control over anyone or anything else. It is a skill I hone through my daily meditation practice.

www.coachingbytext.comAt a recent Cherry Blossom Festival on Roosevelt Island, we enjoyed a performance by taiko drummers. The control each individual had over their own actions, expressed in conjunction with fellow drummers, is a stunning example of how exercising self-control and standing in one’s own power can create a thing of strength and beauty in a community.

Members of Congress, please take note.



10 thoughts on “A Skill

  1. “It doesn’t matter what “they” are doing. What matters is what I’m doing, thinking and feeling.” This is a lesson I had to learn the hard way! In AA I learned that it’s important to keep your side of the street clean and let others manage theirs. If we keep going over to others sides of the street and insisting on cleaning up for them we tend to develop resentments and resentments can lead to self-medicating. This is how the lessons you are speaking of about self-control came to me…I was a tough nut to crack! lol!

  2. Interesting take on the idea of control. I’ve heard the sentiment before, but the way you elucidated it made it resonate for me. Well done!

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